Killing me softly

I am a student, suffering from what is commonly known as paranoia. Walking through the hallways I can hear my classmates murmur, I know it’s about me,
I’ve always known. It is because I am different, I just don’t fit in. I choose to be free, to believe in myself. To run along with the wind. But I can feel myself starting to change, sitting down at the lunch table my friends confront me “why can’t you grow up?”, “why are you so weird”, “what’s wrong with you?”.

Letting out a sigh I turned away, my so-called ‘friends’ sighed in defeat and stormed off. I glanced down at my chicken sandwich “maybe there is something wrong with me”. I started to fidget with my food ‘what if their right?, am I a freak? Do they all hate me?’ those hurtful questions spiralled around in my head, then something happened, I started to feel something as if all the eyes in the canteen where locked on me. They were waiting for one false move from me.

Getting scared I quickly shoved my sandwich back into my lunch box and stood up. I started to shake; a feeling of fear hit me. Quickly I walked briskly out of the canteen, still shaking I glanced around my shoulder to check if I had any followers. People where shoving one another up the hallway, my chest started to tighten “I need to get out of here” I mumbled. Busting through the main door I inhaled the fresh clean air, I felt alone but more importantly safe. No one was judging me, I felt normal, I could be myself. But I knew that it wouldn’t last for long. I would have to return to school, where its inhabitants were slowly, softly and surely killing me. I am a new sufferer of paranoia, my freedom to be creative is disappearing, I have to be normal, I have to be dead.